22.05.20 – 12:41

Today I’m having a bad day. A bad week in all honesty. I’ve been feel really de motivated, unhappy, wanting to go back home, stressed, sad, teary and fed up. I need a hug but I can’t even have that, not even from my parents who I live with. The hardest was when one of my friends died and I couldn’t even have one then!

It’s a Friday at 12:41 in the afternoon and I’m in bed feeling sad. I always retreat to my bed when I’m low. My mental health is suffering now and I don’t know what I can do to improve it, but just wait. I’ve got to remind myself of what I’m grateful for so I’m starting to write a gratitude list on my phone to look at before bed and when I wake up.

I miss home, I miss seeing my friends, family, colleagues, my own space, independence. At least things are starting to look up now. I’ve still got a few weeks to go now though. I’ve struggled with depression for years now and it’s worse than it’s been in ages, although I don’t show it as much anymore because I know it’s not fun to talk about it. It just sucks to be the one to bring the mood down especially as it’s not just me feeling this way, and that others have it far far worse.

Anyway, let’s start today again now and get going. I’d like to shower now please, but we’ve had a power cut. 🤦🏻‍♀️. Just my luck.

P.S, as from Monday 20th May, we have now introduced the ‘opt-out’ system. We are hoping that this will encourage the conversation between family’s, their wishes and beliefs. Hopefully more lives will be saved on the waiting list for a transplant. I’m very lucky to have been given chance of another life, but have lost friends due to lack of organs available. I hope now I don’t lose any more.

Xx