25.02.19 – My Mind Wonders..

Last weekend was spent at home ‘relaxing’ and recharging for this week. It’s not easy for me to relax, sit down and just stop. I find it quite challenging as my mind is constantly thinking about so much. Distraction is my best method of avoiding overthinking. Questions go through my head like, ‘Am I enough?’, ‘Am I doing okay in life’, ‘I need to do some exercise’, ‘Are my parents proud of me?’, ‘What do my colleagues think of me?’, etc. It’s a long list. Comparing, over obsessing, over thinking, self critical thoughts go round and round my head when I have the chance to sit down and stop. I realise that if I keep going then these thoughts go. Sometimes it’s helpful to think about these things, assisting as a life check. It’s been a while since I’ve had a full weekend to myself. I had to really push myself to do as much as I could despite how tired I was.

I started painting, cleaning, washing my clothes, thinking about what tiles and shower to have in my bathroom, phoning a couple of people, decluttering and just general cleaning, with help from Marie Kondo! 😂 These things don’t take all weekend to do, but took up the majority of the day time. I also managed to go to the gym to get some feel good endorphins.

This is what I managed to create this weekend:

This cat isn’t finished yet

I’ve got an ultrasound and bloods on Wednesday this week as my bloods aren’t too great again. They still don’t know why so we will see what they plan to do, if anything. I feel okay in myself otherwise.

Unfortunately my friend who had the second transplant in December is back in hospital again. She’s very unwell but the worst part is over now. She’s getting there, slowly. I’ll be visiting her again before my appointment.

Click here to sign up to organ donation! It is equally important to discuss your wishes with your family, so that they support your decision. Thank you!

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